Among the billions of people on Earth, every single person has their own preferences and choices they make about life. Studies, hobbies, clothing, marriage, and also whether to have or not to have children is also one’s own decision to live by.
Even though it is new to some people, more and more people make decisions about having children more independently now. This article is about an interesting set of replies that a Reddit post received. The Reddit-user asked the online community to explain why they chose not to have kids. The replies were really interesting and practical. Most people who have kids get inspiration from other people’s kids or just because people usually do it.
But having a kid is much more than cuddling a cute baby, you have to be able to face a storm of physical, financial, mental, and a lot more strains all at once. You should accept responsibility of a totally new person and their growing up which will affect their lives and the people they deal with in the society. It is far more complex than just ‘having a baby’.
This is not a new lifestyle choice that popped up in society, it was originally practiced by the people who were born between 1960s and 1980s. They were the generation who had minimal guidance in their lives, thus they learned more about independence themselves.
This post that we mentioned above received some interesting replies. You will see that there are a lot of factors to think about when deciding whether you want a child or not. Scroll down to check out some of the replies that this post got below.
You can share your thoughts in the comments sections and upvote your favorite replies to the top of this list as well.
More info & Photo courtesy: Reddit
I’m 55 (F) and never wanted children. I just don’t much like them, and 20+ years of motherhood sounded (and still sounds) like a prison sentence. Maternal af when it comes to cats and dogs, but small humans? No chance.
And I’m very happy to be childless. Cannot imagine my life any other way.
My wife worked at a nursing home for years. Imagine seeing for years that over 95% of old people never have family visit. Till they die and people want a piece of the pie. This when I learnt that the whole "well who is gonna visit you or take care of you when you're older" line is complete bullsh*t. We decided to not have kids ever after that. Made great friends and saw the world. No regrets.
I don't necessarily regret not having them, but I regret the fact that I wasn't in a healthy enough relationship where I felt I COULD have children. I regret not being stronger to leave the abuse earlier, if I had been stronger, I think maybe I could have had the choice at least.
So yeah... I have regrets.
No. I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to marry my husband. He had two sons from his first marriage and a vasectomy. He was worried because I was so young (comparatively, he's10 years older). I did think it over seriously and concluded that a life with him compared to a life without him but (perhaps!) with a baby I didn't even have yet was what I wanted. It worked out for us, we've been together for 26 years. As a bonus I have 9 grandchildren. All the fun without the work of the raising!
I'm 57 and do not regret it. My husband thought he wanted kids when we were in our early years together, but now he is very happy as well that we never had any. It's allowed us a more free, peaceful, and debt-free life. The flexibility to make life choices we couldn't otherwise make is so much better.
I also don't think that people should have kids just so they have some sort of insurance policy in old age. It's wrong to bring other people into the world with the expectation that they'll serve you when you need them and, right now, I can't imagine any child is grateful to be brought into this world with what is surely coming due to climate change.
Nope. I never had the urge to change diapers or lose sleep, free time and most of my earnings. Other peoples' kids are great. Mostly because they are other peoples'.
When people ask "Who will take care of you when you're old" I tell them that when I'm 75 I will adopt a 40 year old.
I work in education so I feel similar. I raise/ have raised enough people's kids at work. I don't think I have any energy to even think about adding my own in there. How coworkers can go home and parent after a long day of teaching, I'll never understand. At the end of the day I am peopled out and just want to sleep.
My wife and I married when we were in college. After graduating we started our careers and some time later we wondered if we weren't missing out on something, like children, and decided No, this is great, let's keep going like this. That was 30 years ago and it's still great and we still keep it going.
My wife and I chose long ago not to have children, but always left it open for renegotiation. We're 40 now and feel absolutely no regrets about not having children. Still feels like the right choice for us. Hopefully, we'll still feel that way long into the future.
Lots of folks ask us questions like, "who will take care of you when you're old?" or "what if something happens to your spouse?" No judgement, but to us, those have always felt like pretty selfish reasons to have children.
I'm almost 50 so I'll chime in. I never wanted kids, just never had the urge. But I wound up helping raise my niece and nephew after their mom, my sister, died in a car accident when they were 7 and 5 respectively. I didn't have the full time, but split housing them on weekends while their father worked and his b*tchass wife didn't want them around. I had them every other weekend and about half of each summer for years. They're now 21 and 19, so I wound up as more parent-ish than aunt. They were a handful so I'm glad I didn't have any of my own, it was exhausting enough being a part-time parent substitute and, of course, I wish their mom hadn't passed away. Full time parents, you're awesome, I couldn't do it. At least their dad gave me money for all the time I took care of them, sharing my sister's social security benefits so I could feed and clothe the kids and give them some fun activities and camps.
I love the hell out of them, but still glad I didn't have babies of my own. They're good kids, I love them to death, but they've also broken my heart a fair few times acting up, making dumb decisions, but all kids do that. I'd beat the a** of anyone who messed with my niece and nephew.
I'm 52 and I'm in bed watching the morning sky over the ocean with a mug of tea and a book. Quiet music and no one is demanding cereal or needs a diaper change or the car or to sleep in my bed.
Later, I will walk around a museum without a stroller and a screaming, hungry, wet baby or a gloomy preteen. Yes, there would be times that the kids would behave, but what's the percentage? BI will cook for one, not one vegan, one who only eats chicken nuggets, and another who will burn water if I let them near a pot.
I've never regretted my decision ever.
I explain it to people like this - you know that feeling you get where you just can't wait to teach your kid how to play baseball? or whatever it is you want to share with them? I don't have that. Its basically a lack of parental instinct. Having children was never something I aspired to. My SO is the same way.
Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against children. And I get really angry at people who harm them or mistreat them. I just never wanted my own.
Yeah same, it took me years to really come to terms with this whole "I completely lack a desire to have kids" thing. First i thought I would magically develop the desire when I got older, and then I thought I was broken in the head, and then I thought I needed to just "talk myself into it", or have a kid and hope the feeling came. But I'm in my mid-thirties now and still don't have ANY desire to have a child. People always ask "why" I don't want kids. Like, I have 100 reasons why. But the most important reason is literally "because I don't want them". As in: "I don't WANT them". As in: it is simply not something I actively want. Why would I force myself to do something that I have no natural desire to do. Seems like a good way to mess up my life and some poor kids.
I'm in my 60s, happily married for 30+ years, and without children.
Most of the time, I'm happy about our decision. Sometimes, my husband and I both wish that circumstances had been different and that we had someone that we could count on to be there when we get old.
However, our reasons for not having children still stand.
We both felt the world was moving in a direction that can't be sustained. Research on global climate change wasn't part of the picture, but ecologically unsound practices were.
We're both from families where there are plenty of children and grand-children. So, our genes will be represented, without more taken from the available resources.
We both endured teasing about our physical appearances and didn't want our children to suffer the same.
We'd both been exposed to more than average levels of radiation and didn't want to risk it.
Personally, I was concerned about being a good parent. (My husband, on the other hand, would have been amazing)
By the time we were in a position to support having children, I felt I was too old. I'm the child of a 40-year-old mother who had 5 children before me and 1 after -- and although I would never have told her this, I really felt that some of us didn't get the time and energy that her eldest got. I didn't want to do that to another being.
So, instead of having kids, we participated in helping those already here, in a number of ways. In the end, we wish circumstance had been different, but in the main, do not regret our decision.
57 years old and childless. I don't regret it at all. I sincerely believe that I would have been a piss-poor mother. I'm an extreme introvert, and seeing my sister with her sprogs clinging to her all the time, wanting something or other -- food, attention, a toy, whatever -- and calling to her, mommy mommy mommy, convinced me of the wisdom of my decision. If I had had children, I would have been driven to suicide or homicide in short order. My sister's kids are grown into wonderful young adults, and I love them to death, but I need lots of alone time to remain sane, and you don't get that with kids. If I'd had them, I might have become one of those horrid humans who feed their kids Benadryl to make them sleep, just for some peace and quiet. Childless is better for me.
Over 50 and child free. My only regret is that my wife would have been a great mother, and sometimes I feel like I deprived her of that, even though we both agreed we didn’t want kids. Sometimes I wonder if I pushed her into that decision. She works with the elderly every day and sees a lot of lonely folks so it gets to her sometimes. I was always afraid I’d screw up the parenting thing, so I was never really interested in the idea. I’m a loner by nature though.
Not one bit. I have never believed that I would be a good parent. I have a short temper, and while I don't think I would have been physically abusive, my words and tone of voice would be harsh in a very similar way to my own father."
"I wasn't happy growing up with that kind parent and I wouldn't want to subject any child to that kind of parenting.